Do you have any relationship issues or concerns? Send your questions in to Andrea Marchon our relationship expert. firstname.lastname@example.org
Q – I think my husband is cheating on me, what should i do?
A- There is a big difference in “thinking” and in being “absolutely certain ” that your spouse is cheating on you.
Factual knowledge holds more weight than just having a hunch.
Having said that, a hunch stems from somewhere or something.
My honest advice to you would be to collect factual information with caution and if need be you can play detective too but careful not to get caught. You may be surprised at what you may find as there could be various scenarios to what you may perceive as cheating,making your suspicion a reality or proving you wrong. Also the less people you talk to the better, talk to your self if need be. At this point you are your own best friend.
Once you have all your facts with proof in place , I suggest you confront him directly.
Q – My wife has changed after marriage, she stopped putting effort to look good or be romantic, and this is bothering me. What can i do to change that?
A – Your cause for concern is valid but you need to ask yourself a few home truths before you point fingers at her lack of effort to look good or be romantic. Remember, it takes two to tango and we all forget that spark that ignited the relationship to begin with and are very quick and good with the blame game. Tell me, when was the last time you complemented her on her looks? When was the last time you gave her an appreciative second glance? When was the last time you hugged her or held her hand and told her what she means to you and how much you love and care for her? When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with her and made time to listen to her? Unfortunately we all get caught up with this race against time, always rushing with our day, work pressures will never cease to exist nor will other stresses of life but why should that same surge of emotion that you both felt before you were married change? Your busy trying at that time only to make time for each other, whispering sweet somethings into each others ears…. and seeing the good in the other… My advice to you is go back to that time… ask yourself if you have played a role in where she is today and in how she feels about herself. Maybe its your lack of attention towards her that has pushed her to being complacent. The trick is not to take either for granted and to pay attention to each others smallest needs and joys. Once you have answered those questions, and if you have passed with flying colors, it is then that you sit her down and gently and lovingly ask her what is bothering her. Communicate with each other all the time…. never stop ..its what keeps the relationship alive….All the best !
Andrea Marchon holds a degree in Psychology and conducts seminars on self esteem and personality development.