I have always felt that patience was not a strong point for me; I labeled myself as an impatient person for many years and it was only recently within the last year that I began to recognize this and release myself from this paradigm.
So often, we label ourselves as something: impatient, depressed, unable to commit, a failure, etc. The truth is if we place those beliefs, those labels on ourselves, we become them and the Universe returns to us the exact thing we label ourselves as.
Let me break it down by giving you an example from my own life in the area of impatience. Because I believed I was impatient and I lived my life in this manner it has always taken me forever to manifest the things I want. I would know exactly what I wanted but because of my impatient intention within my subconscious everything moved very slowly for me and then I would cry and wonder “Why?!”
The funny thing is that the label I placed on myself of being impatient was completely untrue! When I had my daughter, I was amazed at how patient I was with her, just naturally. I would have this sort of out-of-body experience where I was watching myself be so patient and kind with her while she threw her little fits or demanded I give her something she wanted and I so easily and patiently responded to her. I felt like, “Who is this person?” Haha! As those moments of watching myself be this way with my daughter, (and granted it didn’t happen all the time), piled up that’s when I started to realize the label of impatience I had placed upon myself was absolutely not true to my nature. It was a paradigm I had created in my mind and it was only holding me back from my true self. Huge AHA moment!
But it goes further than that, I want to take you all the way into why we place these labels on ourselves, not how they happened, but WHY and how you can change it.
So why do we label ourselves?
For one reason only – attachment. Most of us have no attachment to our true self, in western society we are not taught to look inward, only outward for validation, for who we are and this outward seeking creates mountains of attachment to things that bear no real value to our lives. In fact, attachment to the outside world only creates lack, fear, depression, and a feeling of complete unworthiness or even failure.
We label ourselves because of comments others have made, we feel attachment to the opinions of our family members, friends, teachers, so whatever they tell us we “attach” to our selves. This creates a belief system with in us of who we are, a paradigm in our subconscious that dictates how we should feel, who we should be, and what we should do, all based on something completely outside of who we really are.
And it’s all a lie.
When you free yourself from the lies and attachments you have created in your mind, you change your life. You change the way you feel about your body, about your failures and successes, about money, about Who You Really ARE!
So here are 3 tips on how to free yourself from any attachments you may be holding onto that take away from your Divine, Magnificent Being:
1. Become aware of your labels
What do you tell yourself about your Self? Listen closely to your self talk, your thoughts, what are they saying? This is your first clue on how you treat yourself on a daily basis and how you truly feel about who you are. Write down what you hear… you may be hearing such things as – impatient, unable to commit, unhappy, not good enough, ugly, whatever it is, write it down. Then check in with yourself, ask yourself “Are these things really true?”
2. You may need proof
So often we believe the lies we tell ourselves simply because we don’t have any proof otherwise. The funny thing about it is, that is total Catch-22; you can only see what you believe to be true. However, if you are open-minded even a little you can perform little experiments to start proving to yourself that your negative self talk is totally untrue.
For instance, one of the other labels I placed on myself at a very young age was that I couldn’t commit. I would try and try but I was never able to commit to anything, ever. I felt like I should be able to commit, since everyone else seemed to do it so easily. So I started with the reasons I was happy I couldn’t commit to things; I started noticing that my friends who stayed at the same job for 5 or 6 years weren’t happy at all, they just felt they had to be there because they committed to it. I didn’t have that problem, I was free to go wherever I pleased and never had trouble finding work, (no matter how many jobs I had listed on my resume). I didn’t feel obligated to stay in a toxic relationship either, when it got bad or abusive I got out, no questions asked. It was easy for me – so no it wasn’t that I was unable to commit, it was just that I am a free spirit who refuses to settle for less than I deserve and that is a beautiful thing. See, when you search for the answer within yourself you will find a beautiful gift rather than a negative label.
3. Free Yourself!
Spend time focusing on who you really are, you know what that is, it’s been there all along, since before you were born. If you ask your self everyday, “Who am I?” you will receive the answer. You will start to see the signs of your true nature, of what your heart has been telling you all along. Listen to your heart and start affirming what you want your life to be, what you want it to look like, not what you “think” or what someone else “thinks” you are. Above all else, love yourself, mind, body and soul – you are divinely created, you are beautiful, you are extremely talented and the world needs you and all you have to offer!