The number one excuse given to us men, “honey I have a headache tonight!” Why women can’t be more creative and give a different excuse, or say what is really on their mind or simply be straight and say NO. Even better, why can’t women express their emotions to their loved ones and partners when they have a desire!
In the Arab world, it seems like the man –generally- is the one partner after “sex”, and the woman is there to please him. Studies, after studies after studies say a man and woman generally have equal desires, and the difference lies in terms of expressing, asking or showing this need. So is this a cultural issue that defines or shall I say boxes the man in one frame and the woman in a different one? Is sex a taboo subject to discuss amongst married people? Is there a culturally acceptable way to have a mature debate? Or is it an educational issue that needs to be addressed at the appropriate time and place and by qualified educators? How do parents prepare their children for marriage, or do they rely on sources such as the social media that will most definitely misinform or even worse corrupt the innocence of our children?
I am asking these question to generate a healthy debate that is driven by our profound values, yet that will inform and protect our children. It is no shame to have equal partnership in marriage at all fronts including physical intimacy where both spouses enjoy while respecting the will of one other. Admittedly, we are very different from the West and many other societies and should never endorse anything that clashes or contradicts with our moral values. Yes, we do have a different yardstick to measure what is right and what is wrong and our moral standards should always remain intact. Our values should drive our relationships and in this context women and much as men need to be equal partners and have the freedom to express their thoughts, needs and desires in the sanctity of marriage.
Unless a woman really has a headache, she should be honest with herself first and then with her partner and openly say no. Men need to also provide their spouses with the assurance by demonstrating love and respect and by treating their partners with dignity.