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Honey I have a headache tonight!

The number one excuse given to us men, “honey I have a headache tonight!” Why women can’t be more creative and give a different excuse, or say what is really on their mind or simply be straight and say NO. Even better, why can’t women express their emotions to their loved ones and partners when they have a desire!

In the Arab world, it seems like the man –generally- is the one partner after “sex”, and the woman is there to please him.  Studies, after studies after studies say a man and woman generally have equal desires, and the difference lies in terms of expressing, asking or showing this need.  So is this a cultural issue that defines or shall I say boxes the man in one frame and the woman in a different one?  Is sex a taboo subject to discuss amongst married people? Is there a culturally acceptable way to have a mature debate? Or is it an educational issue that needs to be addressed at the appropriate time and place and by qualified educators?  How do parents prepare their children for marriage, or do they rely on sources such as the social media that will most definitely misinform or even worse corrupt the innocence of our children?

I am asking these question to generate a healthy debate that is driven by our profound values, yet that will inform and protect our children.  It is no shame to have equal partnership in marriage at all fronts including physical intimacy where both spouses enjoy while respecting the will of one other.  Admittedly, we are very different from the West and many other societies and should never endorse anything that clashes or contradicts with our moral values.  Yes, we do have a different yardstick to measure what is right and what is wrong and our moral standards should always remain intact.  Our values should drive our relationships and in this context  women and much as men need to be equal partners and have the freedom to express their thoughts, needs and desires in the sanctity of marriage.

Unless a woman really has a headache, she should be honest with herself first and then with her partner and openly say no.  Men need to also provide their spouses with the assurance by demonstrating love and respect and by treating their partners with dignity.

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3 comments

  1. Reading this article I remembered a thought I kept wondering about especially when I saw many married women are happily flirting with men who give them the slightest attention!
    And every time I was wondering, why do men send their wives outside feeling hungry (emotionally as well as physically)?!
    Why can’t they give attention to what matters to them?!
    And why rather than asking and discussing their needs as well as their partners’ needs, husbands go out and flirt with other dozen of women and keep trying and trying, seeking for satisfaction that they’ll never get, because such relations will always be mixed with guilt?!
    The only way, and the right way is to face your partner and say what you need, inform him/her about what will make you happy, and explain that if it’s ignored it will pop up again and again and again until it is fulfilled, and if not fulfilled you may end up leaving to rescue you dignity. A loving caring husband/wife will diffenately want to do what make their partner happy as far as it was asked for nicely and kindly with love.
    Make sure what you are asking for is your right first, not that you are asking for something violating your religion, then take the courage and ask gently but openly.
    And enjoy the happiness and freedom that comes with such a caregeous step.

  2. emotional as well as physical intimacy go hand in hand. Communication and respect coated with love and decorated by sex are needed.
    Maybe we should ask ourselves why the divorce rate are so high these days? Why adultery is on the rise?

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