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I want to know what love is

By Mira Khatib

 

Sometimes I totally love woman’s gatherings over breakfast or coffee or whenever. Sure usually you have your share of idle chitchat, and the must gossip segment where we strip naked other peoples lives and then say “it’s non of our business” to make our conscience guilt free, (yeah right…). And yes of course we never forget to mention our undesirable body parts that we detest and wish to change, and praise other women’s looks and secretly wonder how their diets seem to work better than ours, with the little voice in our head saying (“bet they’re not sharing it all”). But the best women’s gatherings are those that open room for discussions, topics that might not have much impact on our lives, but sure enough are eye openers, giving one room to step back and think and see how others relate to situations, circumstances and ideas.

The last gathering I attended really touched an emotional nerve with everyone there, as I slowly took a sip from my coffee and thought of Valentine, I innocently enough and casually asked, “What is love?” the conversation was heading in that direction anyway. In a mere second every woman had something to say, from own beliefs, upbringing, tradition and personal experiences, the choices where endless. Some were extremely practical, others more romantic with a poetic touch, but over all, the entire conclusion was remarkable.

Here I share some of the ideas that where expressed that took us on a sentimental roller coaster, making our heartache for that throbbing mystical beat.

“There are many kinds of love. There is the way you love God, your family, friends, children, each one is different with certain emotional limits and offerings, but the one that all human mostly crave to indulge in is the love of passion, the kind of love we read in fairy tales, the kind that Romeo and Juliet shared. ”   Many suggested and believed that such love does not even exist, that it is a make believe, many go through life from one relationship to another trying to find such a unique and spiritual connection with another human. Of course the reasons for such a need are endless, many are straightforward and common sense, other reasons are not so clear. Whether it is the need to feel connected to another soul, to feel alive or the need to feel special, to be able to identify with another on an emotional level is part of human nature. But how often does it happen? And can it happen to the same person more than once?

Another lady suggested it to be more of a scientific process, a chemical and biological reaction, where she believes that every person has a unique set of vibes and those vibes can only be complete when they find their opposite vibes, and thus why we are attracted to a certain type of people, and it is not just a matter of taste based on likes and dislikes, its more of a science. To me it sounded too unromantic but I am sure realistically, there might be some truth and basis to her formula, yet we all want to have such a unique experience in a much more romantic setting.

Another lady sighed and with a smile said “love is from the core of the heart and soul, it is much more than a physical attraction or reaction, but more of a spiritual connection. You know it is there when your eyes meet with that special someone, the eyes are the windows of the soul and each one can see his reflection in the other, as if being part of one another. You find an over whelming sense of peace, like your soul has found its home.” She went on saying the way that love makes us feel, a very small yet powerful word, you don’t usually see it coming your way it usually takes you by surprise when you least expect it and just wham! It hits you, and you find yourself smitten over someone who could be a total stranger. Someone you might know nothing about, but every time you see that person something internal clicks giving you a rush from your toes all the way up, a fulfilling thrill like no other. All emotions coming from within, the heart racing, palm sweating turning you into a naive sentimental state. Sure by just looking at this woman talking one can tell she was going through something similar, the poor lady was flushed just by expressing herself, I wondered who she was thinking of as she spoke and in a way deep down we all wished to have something so moving in our lives.

“I believe love is the sum of all emotions,” said another excitedly. “When you see that love of yours you feel happy yet sad, smart yet confused, shy yet bold, brave yet so scared, it makes you feel young yet so mature. All the known human emotions come together with every beat turning it to love, that is why it is the most powerful of sensations. ”

“Hmmm…. Interesting”, but one wonders does this kind of emotion last? Or does it come to life time and time again? Or does one get use to it and it becomes a normal part of us, like any other so eventually it becomes unnoticed…(“now there is a sad thought”).

Well one thing for sure love is a pure emotion, coming from the heart. It doesn’t know how to think, it doesn’t realize right from wrong, it refuses to listen to reason and can cross all boundaries. One doesn’t choose love, but love chooses you, and the heart sets its beat to the tunes and rhythms of emotional desire that in my opinion is the love of passion. One that takes you through heartache and pain, with warm tears and a smile aside. The kind of love that is so sacred you want to protect and hide it from the world, the ultimate of treasures. So tempting like the forbidden fruit, once it enters your life, it never leaves you quite the same, only making you wanting it more.

The worst nightmare for the soul is when the mind does not agree with the heart, whether its circumstances, or status, or religion differences the mind seems to know what is right, what is best even for the heart, and the war within erupts, tugging and pulling, ripping between thoughts and feelings. If one listens to the heart, does it mean it will lead our life to a doomed path? What if we listened to the mind and turned our backs on love? Are we killing the purest of emotions? How does one go on living without feelings of love, or more honestly living while suppressing emotions that exists and want to come to life?

It is not easy to think straight when your under the spell of love, the saying  “love is blind” is more of a reality than just a pro-verb, in a recent study it was proven that when you fall in love your hormones levels change and a certain hormone in the brain is released, the same kind of hormone that is present in patients with mental disorders, so one does to some extent go “ga ga” when your emotionally in love, you turn a blind eye to faults, you become more understanding, more giving, more forgiving, compromising, finding excuses and giving reasons, making sense of non-sense just for the sake of keeping your sanity.

Well it took a couple of hours of exchanged opinions, taking a few ladies back to memory lane while others preferred to be silent and day dream, we all listened, thought and wanted so bad to remember and feel. Eventually we realized such a topic has no end, and no one view is right, and no one description is accurate, for love is as unique as each individual the way we feel it and live it and believe in it. Well I guess when you are in love you just know it, as you get that special glow, and everything feels so right. For those of you who have been blessed to feel it will know its truths and its secrets, and for the rest you will go on living and waiting, and yes hoping to experience and learn more about the magic of love.

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4 comments

  1. Good article! Articulate.

  2. A person maybe loved and hated by the same or different people. Love is not a constant state or a psychological or biological state but the integration of many factors that are both physical and environmental. Love evolves to grow or diminish.
    In all cases I believe love can and should be taught.
    With love
    Nizam

    • Agree love can and ahold be taught.
      teaching our kids at a young age to love is the secret to a beautiful community and living.

  3. Agree love can and ahold be taught.
    teaching our kids at a young age to love is the secret to a beautiful community and living.

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