Have you ever felt like someone made you look like a fool; do you feel like a fool or believe you have behaved like one? What is the cause of our willingness to step into traps where we are destined to emerge under these conditions? If you’ve ever found yourself in this kind of ‘fool’s paradise’ you already know how damaging it is to your self-esteem and how utterly painful the process of emerging can be.
Typically when we feel like a fool we believe we have been duped or deceived by someone; it is a blow to our perception of our own judgment. It’s a little frightening to find ourselves in this situation, and not at all uncommon for us to re-examine everything that is important to us. It feels necessary to reaffirm that we were not blind-sighted about everything.
A common problem seems to emerge from these situations. It is not so much our judgment that is faulty, it is our own self-perception. We are most likely to fall victim to being hoodwinked when we imagine that somehow the person involved increases our own worth either in a situation or a relationship. Not that we feel better or more confident about our life or the outcome of a venture because of their involvement, but that we feel like we have gained greater worth as a person because they are with us or involved.
When we imagine that another person’s presence provides greater desirability or credibility to our own or others opinion of us, we vacate the position of being in control of and responsible for who we are and where we are going. We are like a hitchhiker who depends on the assistance of another to deliver us to our destination, with little options if we arrive somewhere else.
This is most likely to happen when we don’t feel worthy of having such a qualified, intelligent, successful, handsome, beautiful or important person at our side. Even worse, when none of those attributes are true but somehow we believed they were and so we thought we were more valuable because of their presence… welcome to ‘fool’s paradise.’
When we find ourselves in awe of any person, wondering what they see in us or why they are a part of something in our lives it is time for a careful examination of who they really are and what we believe we are not. It is essential that we believe we deserve to have happiness or success before we can ever experience the reality of it in our lives.
If you find yourself feeling lucky that someone is with you or wondering how long they will stay it is time to remove the rose-colored glasses and see both yourself and them with clarity. When we are afraid someone will leave or of what that might do to us, they are already leaving and we are already accepting the role of victim. Know thyself and be not deceived!
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