And there I was sitting on the cold floor of the dark tunnel, folding my arms around my knees and feeling angry for the temporary victory of lies and injustice, sad for the hatred and pain that is spreading among people who decided to do nothing about it, and confused for how can people tolerate facing their own mirrors, yet feeling OK about their immoral actions! I leaned back to the wall of the tunnel and started wondering: “maybe those people passed through cruel events on their way, but then does this give them the excuse to close their hearts, and lose their humanity and any sense of feeling?”
At that moment I felt sudden compassion mixed with a desire to blame any parents who let their children grow with such a huge amount of callousness without doing everything possible to rescue them from their own selves. But then I stepped back in my thoughts and held the idea of blaming the pitiable parents. What could they do better than what they did? They must have raised their children to the best of their knowledge about how to raise children, according to what they have learned from their parents and ancestors, and must have had no access to the tools and sophisticated knowledge about human beings that we have nowadays.
In this era humans have been blessed with huge amount of information and techniques that can help them endure their pain and cure their wounds by their own hands, but are they willing to use those tools and cure their hurts? Or they find it easier to blame the universe for their challenges? Do they feel tempted to cultivate their souls, and elevate above any internal or external corruption? Or they do enjoy victimizing themselves and dragging others into the mud they slipped into?
While I was sitting there with the wave of thoughts hitting my mind, and the mixture of feelings plunging my heart, I heard a tender voice calling me to get up and walk. It was like a dream for me to hear any human voice in such a desolated tunnel. The voice said: “all of us get scared sometimes, it is OK to be afraid, but we should always act despite our fears, that’s what true leaders do”. And I sarcastically replied: “yes true leaders, not me in the tunnel!” The voice then replied: “you never get to know your strength and actual capabilities until you get tested, get up young lady, you are smart and strong, take the lead of your own life and walk yourself to the light, find your inner courage, and make the first move, only then you will see the truth slowly unfolding in its right timing”. I didn’t know who was that tender voice, it seemed like a voice of an old wise man, or maybe an inner voice of wisdom that I gained through the past years from the events I lived and paid attention to, or from elders I communicated with, I can’t tell for sure, but for some reason these words calmed my burning soul a bit, and gave me the push I needed to move.
I gathered myself and started walking, and while navigating the tunnel, I discovered that I was not the only one who traveled through it, many before me did, some were so weak and tempted to get the temporary fake success and attention, and so they went back and molded so fast, some resisted for some time and then went back to mold, and others are still under the pressure and the guard’s continuous trials through his assistants. While the genuine souls made it to the end and found the light and irreversible success they were aiming for.
For Episode 1: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-1/