From time to time the guard would send me someone to let me talk in order to reveal the new character I have transformed into. This would keep him updated and help him adjust his torturing techniques, which will preserve the heat on and aid in getting effective results. I admired this smart thinking, and it made me wonder if this was invested in the good, how far could we travel as a harmonious group all together. Things had reached to a point of: who is traveling in a faster pace, me in my self-development process or him and his assistants in their destruction process?
In other times, they used to send me the clown of the group, a witty smart and soft man who can play with hundred ladies and make everyone feel like a queen at the same time. I am discovering very strong energy wasted in the wrong direction without consistent fruitful results for all, because it is simply done for the sake of one person, and whoever is ready to get some crumbs and mold. I pity those people for how far they have traveled away from their true selves, and how harmful for themselves and others they have become, they are surely harming their own selves because the karma they are sending to the universe is very dangerous, and when it hits them back (as this is the rule of universe), it is going to be very much shocking, surprising, painful and unimaginable.
Many times I was wondering: “why some people are helping him?”, and by watching closely I discovered that some of them are miss-led by his words and believed his lies or maybe false promises, some of them were forced to do it to please him, some were getting benefits ignoring the fact that they will definitely get what is meant to be for them, whether they choose the right way to get it or the wrong way, and others were simply doing it because they thought if they make everyone around similar to them by slipping in the same mud they did, they will relief their souls from shame and guilt feelings for doing what they are doing, and drifting away from the simple values of humanity.
Sometimes I felt curious to study this man (the guard), because for me he is one of the remarkable examples of kindness destruction, and I noticed that his worst characteristic ever was ego, it creates a separation from others and blocks the heart from feeling, the mind from thinking and the eyes from seeing. Many people tend to mix between ego and high self-esteem; which they usually refer to as attitude. When people behold ego, they only hear themselves, they think they are superior to others due to any skill they have, everything is always about them and no one else matters, they give orders, they allow themselves to express, but not others, they always want to be the center of attention and receiving without giving, especially when they deal with modest people, who they treat with disrespect.
Whereas high self-esteem is maintaining self-respect, showing and expecting the same level of respect to/from others and having a mutual receiving and giving behavior in every single aspect of their lives.
For Episode 1: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-1/
For Episode 2: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-2/
For Episode 3: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-3/