All the acts and trials of the guard to create pain in my heart caused me at one point to hate him, for the hurt he is causing to me and others. I met in my way in the tunnel a wise man and expressed to him my feelings toward the guard and his assistants, he offered me good advise when he said: “you are a kind creature, don’t ruin that by hatred, don’t lower yourself to their level, before hating or loving anyone one, stop and think: do they really worth to cross the circle of your daily thoughts? Do they deserve that part of your heart you are willingly reserving for them by loving or hating them? Give them a chance to unfold their true selves, keep them in the neutral space, take your time to evaluate, and then make your wise decision based on analysis and intuition; which should be coming from true connection to yourself, and be honest to yourself, only then you can elevate anyone to your circle, or let them stay in the neutral zone as they were.
These words shook me and directed my focus towards my own self as I started thinking how can I keep elevating above all of what is happening around. Reaching this point was a profound breakthrough for me; it gave me a hint on how those people might have reached the point of closing their hearts and losing their mercy. But then I need a lot of courage to be able to keep my heart open, and keep my feeling toward the guard and his assistants neutral despite all what they are doing. This took me to the point of having trust, and I wondered how can I trust dealing with them after all what they did and still doing?
Trust is very crucial for prolonged relationships in all kinds of groups, and it is built with time. It is always difficult to trust after being abused, at these times trust can be regained slowly and at the beginning of the process it usually comes skeptical. Leaders should never take trust for granted, as they should renew this trust and their followers’ belief in them every single day. And if trust goes away for any reason, no matter who did it, it is the responsibility of the leader to own it, come on track and re-establish it. That’s why they have been noted as leaders in the first place, as people who have the ability and willing to take the responsibility to fix whatever is ruined. Leaders can then maintain trust only if they are walking the talk every single moment in every single day. Yes there can be mistakes, but how leaders react to those mistakes, how fast they recover them, how authentic they are in admitting and communicating them, and how willing they are to sustain the recovery will define them and give their followers the chance to re-believe in them; which again may take some time to evolve depending on how this trust dysfunction was handled.
But because the guard never admitted his mistakes, and was never welling to rebuild this trust, which should be based on mutual respect, I wasn’t sure how can I keep going! At that moment, a holy woman showed up to teach me a new lesson. She asked me about my faith, and kept emphasizing on the importance of trusting GOD and having faith in him, and she stated that only then I will be having the courage to move forward despite the fact that the guard never admitted his mistakes, and never expressed his willingness to lead with wisdom.
I kept working on my faith and noticing my daily rituals to find out that she was absolutely right. If you want to know how I am doing, don’t ask me how are you; rather ask me how is your faith? You’ll know everything about my life.
For Episode 1: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-1/
For Episode 2: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-2/
For Episode 3: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-3/
For Episode 4: http://en.arabwomanmag.com/my-trip-in-the-tunnel-episode-4/