By Alexandra Watson
As women we talk… a lot. Not only do we like to talk to friends and loved ones, we also spend quite a bit of time talking to ourselves. The truth is talking to yourself is not a sign of madness as some would have you believe, but something we do naturally and constantly. Its this small self talk that counts because if we do talk to ourselves a lot, then it is essential to ensure that what we say is kind, patient, understanding and supportive, otherwise we have an inbuilt critique and an overly-harsh one at that!
Can you imagine if you had someone following you about all day criticizing every single thing that you did? It would literally drive you crazy! Yet this is what we do to ourselves and more often than not we don’t even know we are doing it. Subconsciously or not these words still affect our feelings of self-confidence and self-love. Why? Because we are being disapproving of ourselves. We are rejecting our own abilities and if we do that others are sure to follow.
Judging, criticizing or disapproving is our way of trying to ensure we raise our standards and do better or achieve more. We want to act more professionally or more intelligently. Although it is understandable that we want to be the best we can, but is it really acceptable to talk to ourselves that way? Surely being the best you can involves happiness, joy, laughter and inner-peace? These can only be achieved if…guess what?…Yep that’s right!…We love ourselves!
Imagine that you have just been to a very important meeting. For some reason you didn’t feel that you were at your best, you know, you weren’t firing on all cylinders. You come out of the meeting, very upset and go to the restroom for privacy and to pace up and down calling yourself an idiot, saying things like, ‘why didn’t I say this?’ Or ‘what is wrong with me?’ Now you have created a situation that can only get worse. If you ask yourself these types of questions you are only going to get negative answers like, ‘because you didn’t prepare thoroughly,’ or ‘you did it again! I knew you would fold!’ How can you possibly come up with better ideas, solutions, or performance levels if you beat yourself up so badly?
As a kid I am sure you remember that when you were applauded, understood or supported by a friend or your family it made you feel great, no matter how badly you thought you did. It is the same today. If you support, applaud and understand your performance everyday no matter what, then you will not only feel better about yourself, your level of competence will increase too.
Being more compassionate with yourself will help nurture your growth and development not only professionally, but personally too. Again this will reap massive rewards for you and your loved ones as it is a great lesson to show your children. Teach them how to communicate with themselves positively in this highly-competitive world.
Each day begin to notice what you are saying to yourself and as you do check that it is positive. If it isn’t then you need to reword it immediately. Be compassionate, be understanding and patient. It’s OK to have a bad day or even a bad week and if you can develop a habit of positive small talk everyday situations become lighter, more fun and less daunting or stressful.
Alexandra Watson has helped countless women create happy and fulfilling lives through her happiness system. She has developed a fool-proof, easy-to-follow seven step system to happiness that any woman can use and see results fast. John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus calls Alexandra’s book The Happiness System for Women ‘a vibrant and exciting journey to the centre of your soul’. Alexandra has featured internationally on TV, radio and in many publications. She can be contacted by email on: HappinessAuthor@aol.com or visit her website at [http://www.AlexandraWatson.com]