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The Second Wife

 

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In many Arab cultures the second wife is perceived as evil and a home wrecker as we are influenced from an early age by reading fairytales like Cinderella. She has fallen prey in Arab societies, here we ask some of our readers how they come to accept being a second wife:

 

Maysa Mohammad 30yr:

“I’ve accepted the role of a second wife as I was being fed up by society labeling me old and still single. At first I rejected the idea but my fear of missing the train of marriage was greater. And within a day I’ve changed from old and still single to a man thief, I went from one label to another unfair description from society.”

 

Do’a Yaser 27 yrs:

“I’ve been a second wife for the past two years and I have accepted this as I was in love. I am not a man thief, and I am not a bad person, but love is blind, so what was I supposed to do? I am always conscious of how I treat the children of the first wife being very kind and loving and I ask my husband to treat us fairly. Even though the finger is always pointed at me as being guilty, and if anything happens to his children then I am the one at fault accused of trying to cause harm.”

 

Lina Ibrahim 56yrs:

“I have been a second wife for the past 39 years, our religion allows 4 wives, and that is why I accepted being a second wife and surely my husband did take on another 2 wives. Our society is brutal and sometimes is right in being so. The first wife usually goes through a lot of hardships and being patient till the man is successful and financially stable and instead of enjoying the wealth together he remarries, but one mustn’t forget that the second wife accepted as she saw no other choice.”

 

Nisreen Yaseen 39yrs:

“Whatever negative label society places upon a second wife, from man thief to home wrecker are all things that made me hate myself and regret being a second wife. I ran away from my father’s second wife being a step mom to find myself playing her role but in a new home. At first if I even heard the name of the first wife on my husband’s lips jealousy would burn up inside of me and if he spoke to her I would become his jailer watching his every move and word accusing him of hating me and loving only her. The truth of the matter I was chosen as a second wife after my husband found out that his first wife could never bear children and I fulfilled my role and gave him children, and despite his happiness my unhappiness grew, everyone became distant towards me as I am the one who so called stole a man from his home. I wish I never agreed to this marriage, and remained in the eyes of society the victim who is surviving under a step mom.”

 

For Arabic click here:
:للغة العربية اضغط هنا
http://ar.arabwomanmag.com/الزوجة-الثانية/

 

Photo credit: Thomas Hawk / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC 2.0) Photo credit: Colleen Kirkland / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

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