By Maha Noor Ilahi
We all know the marriage vows that state: “Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?”
Simple words, please!
Do we even know what these well-said sentences mean in daily life? Here are some tips that I like to call love and marriage ethics that the vows and regulations don’t explain. They are small details, but they matter a lot in a woman’s life.
Sometimes, guys treat their girls as their buddies…they treat them the way they treat other “guys”! And they think since it’s O.K. with the guys, it’s also O.K. with the girls! Well…that’s where all the problems start!
You’re not a cool guy nor a tough “manly” man if you don’t know what annoys girls…Living peacefully with your wife/fiancé starts by avoiding the things that drive women up the wall!
So here goes….
*Do you have a good sense of humor? If you’re involved in a relationship, think again before you crack a joke in the presence of your wife or fiancé. Studies have shown that women get annoyed by male-natured jokes. Women tend to be very aggressive when they are the butt of the joke. They seem not to get it, but actually they do get it quite well…that’s why they get upset.
*”We’re going out diving…we’re having some friends for dinner”…Well.. .. these are things you used to do when you were “alone” but not anymore. Making any decision that involves your partner must involve them too…Don’t make decisions without consulting her. It’s just rude and annoying to invite someone home or decide to go on a trip without talking to the person who lives with you in the same house!
*She hates the guts of your best friend…and it hurts so badly…”Why can’t she see him the way I do? How can she hate someone who is that wonderful?” you wonder. Well…she has her own heart, you know, which is separate from yours. Just because she’s in love with you, it doesn’t mean that she must fall in love with your friends, your pajamas, or your mobile…you can still keep your friend of course…but make sure to keep the two away because, eventually, you are going to lose one of them…don’t impose your friends on your wife or fiancé.
*A very stupid and traditional idea about couples is the idea of having to make the same order at a restaurant. Think about it…if you like shrimps, for instance, but she doesn’t, does that make of her a bad mate? It’s just a matter of taste…you two are not twins living in the same womb! Who said you have to eat the same thing?
*Don’t share her secrets with anyone! Don’t share her silly laughs, her bad moments…the way she looks in the morning…her strange habits….this is simply not your area ..not part of your possessions…Danger zone!…don’t go there unless you want to lose her trust forever!
*To some men, their fiancés or wives are celebrities; they have nothing to talk about except them! When they are with their friends or family members the wife/fiancé is always the best and hottest topic! Sorry to disappoint you guys, but this is also out of your domain…no signal…get it?
*Do you want to kill your gal without being charged of any crime? Just praise other women in front of her, especially at the beginning of your marriage/relation…I don’t mean other women like your mother or your sisters (although it might fall under the danger zone for some girls)…I mean …you know what i mean…you do it all the time guys, and it just kills girls even if some of them don’t express it. According to girls’ book of love, this is betrayal! Igniting your wife’s/fiancé’s jealousy really sucks! It simply turns your loving, caring girl into a cold, careless person…or worse; it might turn her into a wild cat that attacks everybody including you!
One last tip: If your wife is acting cold or crazy, it doesn’t always mean she’s “PMSing”…it might be something you did! Think about what you’ve done before blaming her madness on hormones!
These are just basic tips for you guys out there…the rest is left to your intelligence and charm!