By Razan Al-Taher
Allah’s motives are always beyond our understanding. Yet, everything happens for a reason, just as stumbling into Paulo Coelho’s book “The Fifth Mountain” for two years yet never reading it until recently. I remember the first time one of my friends urged me to read it I was in desperate need for a closure and she said that this book will help me cross over the bridge from where I was merely existing, to other side of actually living.
Each time I held the book, the words seemed to me to be written in Chinese, and literally I couldn’t comprehend the words though I’ve read several of his books and I am a very big fan of his writings and writing style. Eventually after going through several pages, I’d abandon it, but a few days ago for the first time the words made sense. Just as we are always trying to rush things when it’s not their time, this book is a very simple example. In my own interpretation, I suppose I wasn’t ready to understand its meaning until now.
My thoughts kept transcending, the more they rose, the more fear stroke. Through reading this book I remembered my own bereavements, hence I can condole with others in analogous circumstances. Perhaps in the past, I got scared of where my thoughts will lead me. The truth? Or another revelation that I already knew in my gut but was scared to conquer.
Nevertheless, I want to surmount all my fears except for fear of Allah (SWT) and it is at those moments of contemplating over my fears that I start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and then the meaning of my life is whatever I want it to be. Contemplation helps you see the light. The light is a manifestation of bare moments that exist only in my mind. Some are actual others are foreseen.
I reckon that the light is always there, yet we fail to see it often. I presume it is rather easier to anticipate dreadful outcomes; in other words to be a pessimist and so much harder to be positive; to stay optimistic. So how do we stay positive? The answer is through Love.
Through love, life and everything else around us transcends. It’s almost like having a new pair of eyes and you start seeing the world differently. It’s at these moments that I am feeling in love that I experience an immense will to live, to try, to triumph beyond and above. Yet love comes in moments, and feeling in love comes in seconds. Hold on to these moments and seconds for they are your savior in days of frustration and despair. Remember them, for they will give you hope and courage in your weakest moments.
Feeling Allah is listening to my supplication, hearing my students’ praise, reading people’s comments on my articles, watching my ten months old baby brother smile at me, seeing my mother’s proud eyes, or having my fiancé kiss my hand in the middle of the market; these are all examples of moments filled with love that help me smile through the rush and frustration of the days.
I must have done something good to deserve these moments and so have you! Try to recall the lovely moments you’ve had now and again, they will give you courage to proceed. But if you hold on to the weight of earlier failures, you will continue to seek yet not find what you’re looking for. The past with its fears will continue to haunt you.
The best way to deal with your fears is to stop running away from them, nurture them until they are cured. Love them instead of detesting them. An imperative part into learning how to nurture them is to see ourselves as outsiders and then give yourself the advice you would give to someone dear to your heart. It is a lot easier said than done but it does get easier with practice.
Remember that there is always a brighter side even to the ugliest pictures that we can draw in our minds, and it is these pictures; our own fears, that are slowing us down.