It is so much easier to be decisive about relationships when they are someone else’s! Trauma begins when we are no longer entertained by unnecessary drama; like a tired TV show, we just want to turn it off. Silence is the natural sequence of events when these emotional outbursts are in play. Is it over then?
When you have established your own kind of normal in your life and realize it is not all you had hoped it would be it actually can be entertaining to connect with a friend or partner who enjoys drama. Everything has a good story and suddenly you become a part of the tale. It’s exciting for a short time, until it becomes disturbing. The excitement is the hook that reels us into drama. It becomes traumatic when we are no longer excited or entertained by the outrageous events. Eventually the Groundhog Day syndrome sets in and we are looking for an escape from the show we don’t want to see or hear anymore.
People who need drama in their lives rarely partner with someone like themselves. They require an audience, one like you. They do however have a penchant for rounding up friends who will join in the scenes they are famous for creating. Boredom entices us into participating, we enjoyed the change; odd that boredom is the same emotion that causes our search for an exit. We have had all the pleasure we can stand.
Is it over then, when this happens? If you are trying to be a Savior, probably not; if you have a need to repair other people, it’s probably not over either. The common denominator in these kinds of relationships is that both people are emotionally needy when the relationship begins. One is rebelling and needs a lifeline with an audience that will not be too harsh in the final assessment. The other typically believes they can step in and steer things to a calmer and more balanced place; they imagine they can survive the ride.
There are two conclusions in these kinds of relationships. You can choose to chain yourself to the drama and trauma, thinking it will get better, finally arriving at the point where you believe there’s no way to escape. This is the foundation of the infamous ‘tempestuous’ relationship that can span a lifetime. Or you can choose to win this one with your feet. You accomplish that when you accept that your drama king or queen or friend is truly flawed; you put on your shoes and head for the door. Then it’s over.