By Abdul Latif Hourani
In every issue of Arab Woman Mag I talk about aspects that might affect a marriage and lead to divorce. This month’s topic is a hot and sensitive one, yet is another key reason for many problems that might lead to divorce; SEX … I see I got your attention.
It is no secret that sex is a very delicate matter to discuss in a conservative Arab world however it is part of human nature and one of human needs. There is a lack of sex education in our Arab societies, even at times many adults who are sexually active, lack knowledge in this area. Many behave in an unacceptable manner with their partners due to ignorance.
Unfortunately; and I hear this a lot from many couples, their experience in the bedroom is lacking, uninteresting, and downright boring or chore like. One of them might be too focused on the end result and doing all the work while the other is just daydreaming about running errands without truly being aware of the process or partner for that matter. There are many factors that contribute to failure of intimacy, and most of these reasons could be resolved.
One factor for example is physical appearance, many stop putting effort in maintaining their looks after marriage, they let themselves go and gain weight. When a man or a woman is heavy, lazy, and get too comfortable, one might seem less attractive to their partner, and this has its effect in the bedroom. Remember there is competition out there, and one has to keep up, it is not just for your spouse but for yourself as well.
It is critical to be honest with your spouse when it comes to sex and open lines of communication on this subject; likes, dislikes, how to spice things up to keep it interesting and exciting for the both of you. Don’t turn sex into just an obligation that you want to get over with. It might feel embarrassing at first or for Arab women feeling ashamed in discussing such topics, but it is neither shameful nor embarrassing when it is both of your fulfillment and satisfaction in mind. This is a life time together, and you are one another’s forever so don’t spend the rest of your nights feeling frustrated and unhappy, speak up, work at it, put effort on your appearance and you will notice the improvement in your relationship and marriage.
Photo credit: tinafranklindg / Foter / CC BY