By Nisreen Khatib
Have you ever thought about the amount of love and appreciation you give to others compared to the love and appreciation you give to you, yourself? If you have, you’ve already taken the first step towards achieving a high self-esteem. If you haven’t, then keep on reading to know why you should esteem your self highly!
First of all, self-esteem is basically the way you see yourself. It is the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs you believe you have. These concepts can be formulated by your daily experiences: the ups and downs you go through, your relationships with people, your performance at your studies or work, or how people treat you or feel towards you.
In this regard, people are divided into two categories: those who have enough confidence to face what they experience with an open spirit, learn, and go on, and those who take some of their life encounters seriously and sensitively that their confidence and self-esteem fluctuates.
Usually, the second category tends to respond to the experiences they consider confusing and sensitive by acting in self-defeating or self-damaging manners, driven by impulse.
Low self-esteem may drive the person to act like an impostor who pretends to be successful, confident and happy, yet suffers internally from the fear of having his/her true weak self-exposed. Moreover, one may act like a rebel who blames others excessively, breaks rules and oppresses authority due to the anger feelings kept inside about not feeling good enough. Another role self-esteem may adopt is the role of the victim who relies excessively on others and uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against the fear of taking responsibility for changing his/her life.
Whether you choose to play one of the above roles or they’re imposed on you, you must know they have dangerous consequences: create stress, depression and loneliness, cause problems in your relationships and affect your academic and job performance.
Some people think that fighting self-esteem symptoms is difficult, but having to live with them is deadly! No matter how hard it is, what magnifies your look towards yourself is standing against what drives you down.
Loving yourself comes from the inside, and also from the inside emerges your self-esteem. There are no particular steps to guide your instinct which longs to love and satisfaction, but there’s always helpful advice:
- Challenge the negative, critical messages; say: “I will do better next time. I worked hard,” instead of, “I wasn’t good enough.”
- Treat yourself in troubles the same way you’d treat your beloved ones.
- Stay away from people who only focus on your weaknesses. All humans have weaknesses, and smartness lies on nurturing your strengths and invest in them.
- Surround yourself with the ones who would encourage you and expose you to the beauty you enjoy.
- Always look forward and imagine your future self, would you like it to be the way it is in the present? Having a strong motivation is needed.
To sum up, always remember that if you can give love to others, you’re more capable of giving it to yourself. As long as you have it, enjoy it.