By Razan Al Taher
A revelation came upon my way. As bizarre as it may sound, this revelation states the following: “human beings need to have a witness for their lives”. Our days are sad and gloomy when they pass by without a witness.
Whether it’s a parent, sibling, friend, spouse, or even as a last resort a pet; we all need a witness. Some of us have reached a point where we are not comfortable being alone for five minutes. We are addicted to allocating our lives, and we mislead our selves by confusing this addiction with love. Yet, love should never be built on a need and so that’s how my pyramid of loved ones slowly collapsed.
When we first came into this life, we were provided with parents that witness our every move, our every sound, our smile or cry, and our every step. I presume this witness need is the product of another persisting need; attention. Some of us even tend to invent imaginary friends if we fail to have the attention we need.
It might come as a surprise to you, but usually kids invent imaginary friends, I invented mine at the age of twenty four. I am not a therapist, so I cannot provide you with any psycho analysis of my case, but I can tell you one thing “Zaido” was my ideal partner. He was my self healing program to sanity till I became comfortable being alone.
My logical explanation to my own imaginary friend is this: As we grow a bit older the number of witnesses increases. Brothers, sisters, relatives, teachers, friends, spouse, and children are all part of our witness program. However, once we enter adulthood, the number continues to diminish and this need persists till it becomes a fear. Once this fear runs through our veins, we become our worst nightmare; alone.
Think about it, need creates fear, because when you need something, you are constantly afraid of losing it. This fear makes us possessive, needy, insecure, selfish, and most importantly intolerable to be around, therefore the outcome is very logical; Loss.
We are social beings by nature; we’re constantly searching for belonging. We’ve gone to drastic measures to satisfy our social needs, but the question remains: Why do we need a witness? I guess the answer lies within our nature of being humans and imperfect.
Through this whole parade, I apprehended one true thing out of my witness need theory; we forget there is always someone who’s not just watching us but watching over us. Those moments you are blessed to forget and those memories you are too young to recall, are all recorded. These times you were rescued out of terrible situations or those times your good deeds were accomplished without anybody’s presence; someone was there, someone witnessed them. The happy days that can still make you smile or the sad days you cried all alone; you were never alone. Allah is always your witness.
With the above stated, a lot of us may need to adjust their relationship with our creator as we will all be someday left alone in this life’s terminology of alone. Do not need your parents; someday they will leave you if they have not left you already. Do not need your spouse; one day you will be apart. Do not need your friends; your lives will eventually drift. Do not need your children, and here I quote “Kahlil Gibran”:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Love those who are in your life for who they are and not for what they bring into your life, allow them to be part of your life; but never let them become your life. Become alert of your needs and understand that the one and only you must always need is Allah the Almighty. Whatever you may be going through or may go through, remember it shall pass and you don’t need anyone but Allah.
You might think I’m a loner, but I’m not. I am simply comfortable being alone because I know I’m never really alone.