By Kate Strong
Is this you? When you’re in a relationship you love to fuss. You love to make him the center of your world.
You love cooking his favorite meals, you love bringing him cups of tea, making sure that the movie you watch is his choice because you love pleasing him. You love it when he drives when you go out. He has the final decision on what furniture to buy, what audio visual equipment you get, and you debrief his job at the end of the day. He picks the destination for a date, whatever he decides is OK because making him happy pleases you.
You love to defer to him.
You love putting his needs before your own, you love making him feel special.
Surely he loves you making him the center of attention, after all it feels great to have someone caring that deeply for you?
Here’s the thing. Unless you’re really really wanting to do those things and its coming from a genuine place and not some passive need for attention and love and approval, then he’s going to know you’re not putting yourself first. And when you put yourself last then in his eyes you value yourself less than you value him.
This is not about being selfless.
This is a whole lot more primal. That instinctive/survival part of a man’s brain is going to decide you are not to be trusted, and may not be the partner for him.
He will know that if you can’t say no to him or stand up to him, then you are not going to be able to protect his children, or be able to say no to other men, or to other threats. If you don’t put yourself first and value yourself more than you value him, then you won’t be strong enough in his mind to survive the obstacles in life. All that fussing might be what we women want, but its not what a man wants.
He may dislike the challenge of being stood up to, but he will know you value yourself enough to say no in the face of adversity. He will know you believe in yourself enough to back yourself up. He can relax knowing you have confidence in yourself.
So unless you really feel like getting him that cup of tea, don’t do it, ask him to get you one.
If you want to find out more about your relationship, I’m a psychic/healer. Please contact me at http://www.katestrong.com